We just returned from a long weekend in New York City – lots of walking, much of it on crowded sidewalks – and almost zero police presence. Usually they’re everywhere, providing the reassurance that someone is watching out for us all, natives and tourists alike. Not this weekend. The NYPD Blues need a closure conversation. […]
You know that person who says they will do something and then doesn’t do it? The one who says he’ll be at your place at 10:00, then shows up 15 minutes – or an hour – late. Or the one who says she’ll email you that document as soon as she gets back to the […]
The Four Conversations aren’t just for the office. We communicate in our real lives too. I just had some great results out of having a “closure conversation” with a dear friend. She had been unhappy – and unusually touchy – for several months. I had been patient and kind with her, because I knew she […]
Give closure conversations a try – they can remove speed-bumps in everything from personal relationships to organizational change initiatives. Believe me: I have a million stories on this. Here’s one. I went to a not-so-great educational program this past summer. The fairly small audience – about 35 people – was made up of some people who were on […]
Jeffrey spent Labor Day weekend painting the living room and kitchen walls. I spent the weekend untying lots of those “ties that bind”. I tossed things out, put things into the recycle bin, and filled up 2 bags of stuff for Goodwill and/or Salvation Army pickup. Then I went through my Outlook list of past business […]
I used to think everyone wanted to know more about “productive communication”. People are only interested in productive communication in the areas of life where they have some commitment. That seems obvious now, but I didn’t always know how to find out about people’s commitments. Here’s my latest method: look at how long it takes them […]
I did a survey in one organization. The two places most managers wanted performance improvements were (1) communication, and (2) accountability. OK, no surprise there. Better communication and more accountability would make a manager’s life easier, right? But 6 months later, guess what they hated most… Communication about accountability. Dave, a mid-level manager, said on the comments […]
A colleague called, sounding ½ angry and ½ upset and said he thought I was supposed to attend a professional meeting last week. No, I told him, I’ve got a book to write and will not be attending those anymore. He growled, “I thought you were going to support us until you retired.” I am retired […]
People are mad that Elaine avoids work – and sick of her “good excuses”. There are two different views about what their manager, Beth, should do: She should meet with Elaine at the start and end of every day to check on whether she’s doing her assignments or not. She should give assignments to everyone […]
We did a survey of about 25 managers, and one of the biggest problems they reported was “Getting people motivated, keeping them motivated, and/or having them motivated in the right direction”. Have you ever had anyone try to motivate you? Don’t you hate that? It’s more like a manipulation than any kind of inspiration or […]
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